The Beauty of Secrets

What makes us different from our peers? Is it the house that we live in or the car we drive? What defines us? Is it just the superficial beauty,which we have no hand in? Or is it something else? Something deeply ingrained in us.. Something that is so deeply rooted in us, that defines what we do, even before we realize it....


..That is our character.


An intriguing facet of human character is affinity for Secrecy. Be it out of fear, out of joy, or may be malicious intent... we are adept at creating an air of mystery. However, the temptation break the cycle of secrecy is often inexplicably overwhelming not only for those who are sworn to secrecy, but often they perpetrator themselves. Yes, I have had many a treasured secrets, either being sworn to it or creating it! And I admit I have spilled many a beans. Weather changes, time passes, and oath of life of some bygone time is merrily forgotten at the spur of a moment! And thus some yesteryear secrets of someone, becomes a tea-table gossip of everyone! 


I return home from college by bus. There’s a train route, but I prefer the buses for various reasons. First, I am always sure to get a comfortable seat --for I board from the Depot. Secondly, the route is scarcely crowded unlike the trains, which are bursting at the rivets at the peak evening hour crowd-bursts.
Although some time is wasted as the bus snakes through the congested city-road, but breathing the cold

evening air from the window seat of a speeding bus is an intoxicating feeling in it’s own right. Time flies by as I hum my way through the seven stops to the place I call my ‘sweet home’. Nobody hears my songs over the dean and bustle of the droning bus engine and cacophony of the passengers. 
It was like any other day of my ‘bus'-y schedule except that a pretty lady chose to sit next to me right from the depot. It is not that the bus was something ‘Men Only’ or, that a lady never sat beside me, No! It was special because the girl was very pretty-- I’d rather say beautiful, and I have never seen a pretty girl with such poise, without even a hint of snobbish air! She was quite at ease sitting beside a total stranger who was visibly almost gawking at her! She was wearing a pink salwar and her earthly skin tone matched it well. She was in her twenties. As if drugged by the sweet fragrance that hung about her, I kept staring at her, albeit bordering on leeching! She looked at me through the corner of her eyes yet I couldn't take my eyes off her! I was about to collect myself, before somebody labeled me a standard leech, divine extraordinary happened, guess what? She smiled back at me! 
“Oh she smiled at me!” It was love at first sight for me… I felt some butterflies in my stomach, yet a pain scratched across my mind-- my love would last for only Seven stoppages of the bus!
She was with her friend who was standing near the seat behind us. She offered her friend to sit in her place. I mumbled silent “No’s” under my breadth!
“No! I am fine Anushka.” Her friend said and I thanked God, again!
So her name was Anushka. I wanted to tell her that I never heard such a beautiful name in my life, but the man in front of me was reading a newspaper, and there was a picture of Anushka Shankar on that. The news was “Anushka expecting a baby.” I controlled myself!
Anushka turned back and eyed the seat behind us. A young commuter was sitting on it, probably returning from his college or office.
“Can you please stand up? Let my friend have a seat.” She asked him.
“But these are not ladies seats.” The man protested. All men are not impressed by beauty, I sighed!
“You should. She is not well today.”, Anushka was adamant.
“No! Anushka, I am fine here.” The friend protested.
“Actually I’m also not well today.” The man desperately clung to his seat.
“Frankly speaking Mister” She kept her voice low. “She is having her periods.”
The man jumped up from his seat. The friend of Anushka was vividly embarrassed. Her cheek turned red. I kept looking outside the window as if I hadn't heard a thing! Such a feisty girl! Secrets are meant to be told!




The Second Stoppage came………..




Her phone rang. I kept my ears open as I was very much interested in obtaining her mobile number.
“Hello!” She said.
My God! What a phone! That phone could be used for an walkie-talkie easily! What a voice-clarity! I was listening to what the caller was talking clearly. My eagerness could also have affected my senses with extra clarity on the face of such an opportune-crisis!
“You got my letter?” The caller enquired-- a male voice.
“Letter! Who’s speaking?”

“Abhishek.”
“Oh! Hi! Yeah! I got it.” Anushka replied!
“So! What’s your answer?”
“I’ll think about it. Ok?”
“Why are you not saying just ‘yes’ Anu!” The caller pleaded, he could as well be on his knees-- I guessed from the tone of his desperation!
“Look Abhishek. I’ll call you tomorrow. Ok? Now Bye!” Anushka said firmly.
“Anu… Please keep the letter a secret. Please.”
“Ok!”


I was thinking who that could be. His lover or just his friend wanting to be a lover. Who?




The third stoppage came…..




Anushka turned to her friend.
“June. Your brother called.”
“Abhi?? Called you? Why??” She was surprised.
“He has fallen in love with me.”
“Abhi??? Are you serious???”
“Yes! I got a letter too” Anushka chuckled.
She handed a folded piece of paper over to June.
“But he is younger to us.” June still could not believe her ears.
“Just read it.”


Some silent moments passed. It was June who talked first.
“I just can’t believe it.”
Anushka was about to tell her something but her mobile rang. I straightened up, ears straining!
“Hello!”
“Hi Anu!” This time it was a female voice. I sighed in relief.
“Hi Manjusree! What happened?”

“Hey! What were you two doing in garden today?”
I held my breath again.
“Who?” Anushka smiled.
“Rahul and you.”
“Oh my god! You saw us? “ She laughed.
“Please! Please! Please! Tell me! Tell me! “ She was ecstatic.
“Ok ! But he told me to keep it secret. Actually he proposed me.”
I sighed again. This time it was in agony. My luck had always betrayed me whenever I was near my goals. It was happening again! But I was determined to get hold of her number. She might choose me as a better candidate. There is always hope, the glass is always half full!


“He proposed to you? But you know? ... June had already proposed to him.” Manjushree said.
“What? “ Anushka lowered her tone.
“Yes! June herself told me to keep it a secret. Please do not tell anyone.”
“No! No! I wouldn’t.” How many more secrets are to be plundered, I wondered, that too in seven stops!




The fourth stoppage came ….




I was almost near end of my journey. So I thought this would be the ideal time to ask her for her mobile number. Again I thought that asking her just where she lived or where her college was might be a better idea. I was planning to start the conversation but just then she turned to her friend and asked.
“You proposed to Rahul?”
“What!! Who told that to you? “ June was genuinely surprised!
“Manjushree. Did you propose or not ?” Anushka was desperate.
“No! I mean…. Yes! ... Actually Rahul proposed to me.”
“Oh!! Rahul had also proposed to me today!”
“What? “ She almost shouted in shock. “Are you joking? When? Where? “
“In our college garden. He held me against the wall and asked for a kiss.”
“Wha.. What did you say ?” She was visibly flustered!
“I rejected. Then he proposed to me again, and I said… “
“You said what?? “ She shouted again. All the passengers of the bus were looking at these two girls.
“I said “You are not my type””.


Everything was silent for some moments. I was happier than before. But was not sure of what her type actually was.
“What is your type Anushka?” I was startled as June asked Anushka the question I was thinking right now! As if she had seen through my minds startled me from my dreamy state of contemplations!
“My type? I love intellectuals. I love writers, artists, poets. I dream of having a lover who would write sweet stories on me and I would kiss him after reading that.” Anushka said.
My chances had increased.
“I can write whatever you want. I can make you the queen of my fairy-tales. I can make you Alice in my wonderland. I can make you the Tomb Raider, who would finish off a thousand bad-guys to secure the world. I can erase this world and draw it again like you want. Just ask me to do it, Anushka! “ I said silently to myself... as if rehearsing before actually saying it.


“Anu!” June said. “I think I should talk to Rahul.”
“Now?” Anushka exclaimed.
“Yes. I’ll go home later. First I have to meet him.”
“So where are you going now?”
“I’ll go to Rahul’s home now. Please don’t tell this to anyone. I’ll be a little late reaching home. If mom calls you, just say that I’m not with you. Ok?”
“Ok!”




The fifth stoppage came….




June had alighted from the bus. Now it was only Anushka and me. I thought this was the ideal time to ask her for a date! Yet I could not make up my mind! They say you have to have some spine if you are dealing in things like this, you have to speak up! Unless you do, how will the lady know that you are interested at all! The smiling you might as well be a ‘just another’ polite good-guy, in the city of inherently sprawling bad-guys! I think that’s what ladies think! Don’t know if men really give them the creeps!


Anushka was busy with her phone again. This time she dialed a number.
“Hello?” A female voice was there.
“Hello Aunty! I am Anushka”
“Hi Anu! What happened? “
“Nothing aunty. I called you just to inform some things about June... which I feel aren’t quite right!”
“June? What happened to her? “ The lady said with a tensed voice.
“Actually aunty, I don’t think if she is doing it right.” I was staring at her. How a beautiful lady could be so dangerous! Moreover this lady really had the sting! She will be what the colloquial terminology believes to be a ‘terminal bitch’ ... the rude words be pardoned, they only come in good terms here!
“What did she do?” June’s mom said in a increasingly impatient voice.
“Please Aunty. Don’t misunderstand me. I just wanted to warn you. She is keeping bad company now-a-days. She is now at Rahul’s home. I thought it was my duty to look out for my dear friend! Please aunty, don’t tell her that I told you these things.”

I kept staring at her... Really ? I read about evil queens in fantasy stories but never believed their existence. 



The sixth stoppage came…...




I was thinking how I should start talking. I was dubious as well as tongue tied now... yet with all that had transpired she seemed more attractive! The perfect blend of prettiness, politeness, unpredictability and ‘a cute evilness’ ... a real woman! I was secretly longing for her all the more!
Her mobile rang again.
“Hello!”
“Where you are?”
“In the bus, mom! Returning.”
“Is June with you?”
“No mom! She went elsewhere.”
“You are there all by yourself?” Her mom’s voice was a little worried.
“Yeah mom !“ She paused for a moment. ”and a little afraid too.”
“Why? What happened?” the lady shouted.
“Somebody’s constantly watching me mom!” Anushka told in a nearly inaudible voice.
“Who? Where is he? Is he following you?”
“He is just beside me."


I jumped out of my seat and got off from the running bus. It was a little walk to my seventh stoppage.


My heart was still beating hard on my ribs...!


Anushka, has had her story... but she may not as well kiss me, as she promised-- after reading it!
-------------------- Edited by Bipul Islam. 14 Feb, 2011 ---------------------------